Dictator Pain, Death God Poker Game and Dynamic Entry

The panel that started it all...Dictator Pain whines about his troubles.

The panel that started it all...Dictator Pain whines about his troubles.

To quote myself (Ibiki Teishi):

“And…can I just say…there is nothing more frightening than a crazyass fascist who earnestly believes his own propaganda, AND had the power to make it happen. I’m gonna start calling him Stalin Pain. Adolf Pain. Benito Pain. Franco Pain. Anyone want to come up with two more?” 

Many of you remember, that the crew batted around some names and exchanged some witty banter about this back on the Weekly 430 Manga post.  Ah, good times. 

HarshyT offered to do some pics on Peins as dictators, and that really got this ball rolling.

I don’t have all the dictators to post for your today, but we did pull some wild stuff together.  Therefore, from the insanely warped mind of HarshyT, I bring you…a post of…welllll…you’ll see I guess.  I might as well be honest.  This is probably the weirdest post of ecclectica I have ever put together.  Weird.  But the weird kind of binds it all together like glue.

Dictator Pein

I asked Harshy for his pics of dictator Pain, and he sent me this:


Yeah, ’cause we did a search for his WMDs, but didn’t find anything but Laserhead’s missiles. 

And you know those bombs don’t count until destroyed.  You just relabel them, ship them out under cover of darkness and bring the Laser guy back to life.  Douche. 

Ahhh…but I hate to kick a dictator when he’s down…and down…and down.  How many times now? How many bodies?

Still…Saddam Pein’s actual power was having a lot of aspects impersonators and crawling into a hole in the ground.  Maybe we should have done Danzo / Madara / Tobi as Saddam?

Next Harshy sent me a pic of Hitler making sweet, but passionate, love to the globe.  He’d tried to pin our favorite aspect’s mechanical laser head to the pic, but the color scheme had all gone wonky.  Ahhh….quality schmality, sez I.  Not above a hack art job, I gave it a try.  I bring you, (utter crap, but good for a fast laugh):  Adolf Pain.

Adolf Pein's Pump Action and Kung Fu Grip Will Amaze You!!!

Adolf Pein's Pump Action and Kung Fu Grip Will Amaze You!!!

But wait…there’s more…talking about the Death God and who and what is sealed inside.

Passing Time in the Death God

To quote Jeremiah from the Weekly 432 Manga Discussion:

“The funny part is the card game that has taken place within the death god between Sarutobi, Minato, the Yang Chakra of the Nine tails and the uncomfortable silence that takes place when it’s Orochimaru’s lifeless arms turn…

I just imagine a table with all of them sitting around it, one on each side and then just two random arms on one side of the table. All three of them just sit and stare at the arms and say… That’s f**ked up… seriously… wtf?!”

And Harshy T…well…he took it and ran with it…Hokages Playing Poker in the Death God…


Harshy wanted to be sure that you all understood he wasn’t the orginal artist on any of these, he just defaced improved their work.

But even then I wasn’t done, I wanted an over the top pic to wrap this ramble up…so I asked Harshy T for…a…

Dynamic Entry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…get your head out of the gutter.  It wasn’t like that.  I’m talking about Maito Gai. 


You see, ever since the beginning, I’ve wondered why Gai was just so…American.  [thumbs up! tooth sparkle!]  And what’s the deal with that green jumpsuit and those orange leg warmers, anyway…?  And then I ran across this picture of a WWI U.S. Marine…

The wrapped legs, the baggy green suit…ok, so the insert on the right in the gas mask looks more like laser head…but think about it…Maito Gai is a marine.

Don’t believe me?  Where does a Japanese mangakai come up with a name like Gai anyway?  It’s not related to food, as he is fond of doing.

And then I learned the story of the Pied Piper of Saipan, Guy Galbadon.  Single handed, this banty rooster of a marine (5’3″) managed to capture somewhere between 800 and 1,500 Japanese soldiers during WWII (depends on if you ask Guy or not).  These soldiers were committing suicide rather than being taken prisoner, but he convinced them to surrender using the Japanese phrases he’d learned on the streets of East L.A. 

He’d sneak out at night, walk into enemy territory and talk them back to camp.  Alone.  If that doesn’t sound like Maito Gai…I don’t know what does.  He was the kind of Guy who mailed his medal of honor back to Richard Nixon with a note attached that read:   “your time is coming to an end, Tricky Dick.”  So I asked Harshy T for a pic of a marine with Gai’s face…

Marine Pain flips us the bird, and stuffs it at the same time...

Marine Pain flips us the bird, and stuffs it at the same time...


No, Harshy…that isn’t what I had in mind.

We’re done with Pain now…besides…is this some kind of political commentary?  Are you making fun of marines…

And I can guaran-damn-tee when that guy finds out you pasted some whineyass, power hungry dictator on his face AND called him gay…wellll…let’s just say I won’t be able to protect you. 

There will be a dynamic entry of a fist into your face, I’m sure.

We better put Pain away now, huh, Harshy T?  Give me a marine suitable to put Maito Gai’s face on…


That’s closer…

but still doesn’t do it for me…

…where’s his goofiness? 

I mean Mighto Gai maight be based off a real life marine badass, but…

…he’s still a crazy character.

Give it another go?



Better…he’s goofy, but we’re losing the whole legwarmers thing…something more like this…(another hack, I’m afraid, cover your eyes if your squeamish, thanks to Harshy T for the face…)



Now…how ’bout you give me something dumbass, like that…? 

Uh…whups…I shouldn’ta said that…

I’m, uh…gonna do…

I’ve got that thing…um…



Special thanks, hugs and kis…no, just special thanks to Harshy T Kage for his photoshopping skills.  There you go, Harshy, it’s a post.  Congratulations!


~ by 千手 鼾弟子 Ibiki Teishi on January 31, 2009.

30 Responses to “Dictator Pain, Death God Poker Game and Dynamic Entry”

  1. First 😀

  2. Now ive got that over and done with
    i need to go and get a towel to dry my floor after i laughed with water in my mouth :\
    that last picture cracked me up

    He sort of looks like a genie floating above [s]dickheads[/s] ex-president bushes head ;D

    Anyway great post keep the funny shiz coming ;D

  3. Great read as always.

  4. damn, I saw this post under works at 3am, clicked it and told me i was lost. I wondered if it was a new theory or something, so everything caught me off guard. This right here is true art.
    *waterfall of tears looking off in the sunset with a beaming smile and giving thumbs up* This is the power of youth at it’s best…and photoshop…but mostly youth! thanks Harshyt, going back to bed…BACCHIKOI!!!!

  5. hahaha…omg, really? 4hrs. asleep and this instantly woke me up? I nodded out for a lil and you know how you can get back into dreaming real fast? well, lets just say I saw a Bacchikoi with the fat pain and Bush…I’ll never sleep again!

    *has Yamamoto’s sleep deprived face* “that’s not fair, Ibiki-senpai!”

  6. Why every one think pain as a dictator??? cmon wtf….

  7. Punxed! Good to hear from you! How did you sleep?

  8. i was so fuckin g high yesterday that i smoked 3 joints to get to sleep^^^6 xaxaxaxax

  9. btw call me facist but pain is THE savior:P

  10. that was hilarious I luv guy

    aka jjjjjjj

  11. ok….so i knew i had to do smfin goofy wid gai…but i didn’t have the time…or so i say….but i’ll surely do a goofed up one…and i recommend everyone to enlarge the poker pic…read what i’ve written on em’

    and thanks a LOT ibi for writing some badass text along with em///;)

  12. Can i comment yet? hmm lets see….

  13. LMAO! You sold me on the Hitler Pain with the globe … the rest was icing on the cake 😀

  14. OH Boy!OH Boy!OH Boy!OH Boy!OH Boy!
    A completely badass and (un)original idea…this time it’ll be GOOOOOD!

    watch out…

  15. Oh god! Harshy with a plan! I hope the world is ready for this one!

  16. any one notice in the sea picture of Gai, the name is on the chest? Haha fine details, I love it

  17. haha that was quite spectacular, very nice job 🙂

  18. Two worlds will collide…(a sneak to my new plan)

    Anyways…i meant NO disrespect to honourable and gr8 marines of the US…God bless themm(wow…i actually said that…)

  19. @ harshy – hahaha i like the arms on the poker pic d:

  20. lol…the way that mutt was beaming spelt oro….

  21. wow…we’ve had sooo many posts this week…

  22. yea, ferserious

  23. Oh my….I think now I’ve seen it all.

    *Looks at Minato hiding under the table and goes back to laughing his ass off*

  24. Yeah i can comment ^_^
    I think the pictures are pretty cool.
    I lol at Guy in those pictures.

  25. Ibiki, awesomeness post as always.


    You da man!

  26. Harshy, I gotta say…this was all you…okay, 95% you I can only take credit for Gai = Guy, but you gave me a way to get it out there. Thanks, man, you were great!!!!

  27. Oh wait a minute now im confused.
    How do you spell MG
    is it Might Guy
    Or Might Gai

  28. i think it’s might guy in the bastardish dubbed versions, it’s maito hai all the way for the japs and us!

  29. awesomeness at its best … way to go Harshy

  30. random dictator pain…lolz
    gai’s dynamic entry roflmfao (<<<no kidding)

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