Dictator Pain, Death God Poker Game and Dynamic Entry
To quote myself (Ibiki Teishi):
“And…can I just say…there is nothing more frightening than a crazyass fascist who earnestly believes his own propaganda, AND had the power to make it happen. I’m gonna start calling him Stalin Pain. Adolf Pain. Benito Pain. Franco Pain. Anyone want to come up with two more?”
Many of you remember, that the crew batted around some names and exchanged some witty banter about this back on the Weekly 430 Manga post. Ah, good times.
HarshyT offered to do some pics on Peins as dictators, and that really got this ball rolling.
I don’t have all the dictators to post for your today, but we did pull some wild stuff together. Therefore, from the insanely warped mind of HarshyT, I bring you…a post of…welllll…you’ll see I guess. I might as well be honest. This is probably the weirdest post of ecclectica I have ever put together. Weird. But the weird kind of binds it all together like glue.
I asked Harshy for his pics of dictator Pain, and he sent me this:
Yeah, ’cause we did a search for his WMDs, but didn’t find anything but Laserhead’s missiles.
And you know those bombs don’t count until destroyed. You just relabel them, ship them out under cover of darkness and bring the Laser guy back to life. Douche.
Ahhh…but I hate to kick a dictator when he’s down…and down…and down. How many times now? How many bodies?
Still…Saddam Pein’s actual power was having a lot of aspects impersonators and crawling into a hole in the ground. Maybe we should have done Danzo / Madara / Tobi as Saddam?
Next Harshy sent me a pic of Hitler making sweet, but passionate, love to the globe. He’d tried to pin our favorite aspect’s mechanical laser head to the pic, but the color scheme had all gone wonky. Ahhh….quality schmality, sez I. Not above a hack art job, I gave it a try. I bring you, (utter crap, but good for a fast laugh): Adolf Pain.
But wait…there’s more…talking about the Death God and who and what is sealed inside.
Passing Time in the Death God
To quote Jeremiah from the Weekly 432 Manga Discussion:
“The funny part is the card game that has taken place within the death god between Sarutobi, Minato, the Yang Chakra of the Nine tails and the uncomfortable silence that takes place when it’s Orochimaru’s lifeless arms turn…
I just imagine a table with all of them sitting around it, one on each side and then just two random arms on one side of the table. All three of them just sit and stare at the arms and say… That’s f**ked up… seriously… wtf?!”
And Harshy T…well…he took it and ran with it…Hokages Playing Poker in the Death God…
Harshy wanted to be sure that you all understood he wasn’t the orginal artist on any of these, he just defaced improved their work.
But even then I wasn’t done, I wanted an over the top pic to wrap this ramble up…so I asked Harshy T for…a…
…get your head out of the gutter. It wasn’t like that. I’m talking about Maito Gai.
You see, ever since the beginning, I’ve wondered why Gai was just so…American. [thumbs up! tooth sparkle!] And what’s the deal with that green jumpsuit and those orange leg warmers, anyway…? And then I ran across this picture of a WWI U.S. Marine…
The wrapped legs, the baggy green suit…ok, so the insert on the right in the gas mask looks more like laser head…but think about it…Maito Gai is a marine.
Don’t believe me? Where does a Japanese mangakai come up with a name like Gai anyway? It’s not related to food, as he is fond of doing.
And then I learned the story of the Pied Piper of Saipan, Guy Galbadon. Single handed, this banty rooster of a marine (5’3″) managed to capture somewhere between 800 and 1,500 Japanese soldiers during WWII (depends on if you ask Guy or not). These soldiers were committing suicide rather than being taken prisoner, but he convinced them to surrender using the Japanese phrases he’d learned on the streets of East L.A.
He’d sneak out at night, walk into enemy territory and talk them back to camp. Alone. If that doesn’t sound like Maito Gai…I don’t know what does. He was the kind of Guy who mailed his medal of honor back to Richard Nixon with a note attached that read: “your time is coming to an end, Tricky Dick.” So I asked Harshy T for a pic of a marine with Gai’s face…
No, Harshy…that isn’t what I had in mind.
We’re done with Pain now…besides…is this some kind of political commentary? Are you making fun of marines…
And I can guaran-damn-tee when that guy finds out you pasted some whineyass, power hungry dictator on his face AND called him gay…wellll…let’s just say I won’t be able to protect you.
There will be a dynamic entry of a fist into your face, I’m sure.
We better put Pain away now, huh, Harshy T? Give me a marine suitable to put Maito Gai’s face on…
but still doesn’t do it for me…
…where’s his goofiness?
I mean Mighto Gai maight be based off a real life marine badass, but…
…he’s still a crazy character.
Give it another go?
Better…he’s goofy, but we’re losing the whole legwarmers thing…something more like this…(another hack, I’m afraid, cover your eyes if your squeamish, thanks to Harshy T for the face…)
Now…how ’bout you give me something dumbass, like that…?
Uh…whups…I shouldn’ta said that…
I’m, uh…gonna do…
I’ve got that thing…um…
Special thanks, hugs and kis…no, just special thanks to Harshy T Kage for his photoshopping skills. There you go, Harshy, it’s a post. Congratulations!