UPDATED Danzo and Kaiza – Is there a connection? (The 1st Annual CRACK ME UP / THEORY Fiction Contest)

Yeah, but our Sannin are Awesomeness, too...

Yeah, but our Sannin are Awesomeness, too...

UPDATE:  No manga this week, so I’m hoping we get a few more entries on this.  We’ve heard from 2 of the 3 Sannin (someone poke Erich and see if we can get a third before school starts up again).  There are some great entries, but it’s time to set a deadline. 

I’ll accept entries until the Blog reads Midnight on January 8th.  Bear in mind that your entry is not the fic I’ll be writing (unless you request me to write it up).

If you don’t want to enter, feel free to volunteer to help me judge.  I’ll be picking two people who don’t comment here and two registered awesomeness users to help me judge both categories.  If you would like to be an official judge, leave me a comment and I will contact you on your registered e-mail.

The only thing better than pocky is POCKY, go big...in bed.

The only thing better than pocky is POCKY, go big...in bed.

ORIGINAL CONTEST POST:  Well, in the absence of manga goodness, I (Mollie, aka Ibiki Teishi) have a picture to share with you.  Just to give us all something to do.

Extra points to anyone who can actually make me LOL.  Really LOL.  Super bonus points to someone who can make me LOL and give me something to really think about.  In fact, I’ll write two fanfics for the best in show:  a brief crack fic for the funniest entry (and I may need to gather a panel of judges for this) and a more legit story whoever comes up with the best theory.  Winners will provide me with a prompt and the kind of story they want to read (if they even want a fic) and I’ll take care of the rest (I hope–here’s your chance to really put me in a corner writing wise). 

My guess is Danzou is going to resurface here in the next couple of issues and reveal a bit more about his double seekrit coup plot.  So now is the time to lay down your predictions, spout off speculation like a drunken ass and start a coup d’etat betting pool.


Kaiza, you remember him, from the building of the Great Naruto Bridge?  Where Haku pranced around like a Geisha and the Team 7 boys trained and ate till they puked in the name of being the best of the best of the best.  Remember that little kid who got picked on by all the other boys and was rescued by this mysterious stranger?  The stranger’s name is Kaiza and Ganache or Gateau or Chocolate Cake or whatever had him executed for standing up against corporatocracy.  Yeah…that guy.

Now when I showed that anime arc at home, Danzou was already starting to be a douche in the manga, and I kept looking at Kaiza saying…there’s something up with him.  The way he looks.  I think it’s his chin.  WTH?  Why does he seem so damn familiar?  Why is he totally giving me the creeps…he seems like such a nice guy…

Months later, when Danzou swings into sincere, unquestionable douchbaggery, the resemblance is uncanny.  So tell me why do these two both have hot-cross-bun chins? Who the hell is Kaiza?  And is he part of the reason Danzou-roach is aspiring to megalomania from under Konoha?


~ by 千手 鼾弟子 Ibiki Teishi on January 3, 2009.

90 Responses to “UPDATED Danzo and Kaiza – Is there a connection? (The 1st Annual CRACK ME UP / THEORY Fiction Contest)”

  1. first

  2. 1st, danzo has 2 arms
    2nd kaizo is confirmed dead

  3. that violates the 3 manga rules

  4. bah well technically second 😦

  5. ibiki you are fucking unreal for spotting that lol…

  6. Lol…I didn’t spot it all on my own. About a month ago, someone was talking about shadow clones (I think) and the Zabuza arc, and I went back for research and peed a little bit when I spotted this. I’ll save MY spouting about X marks the spot so YOU all can come up with some fun ideas. ;P~

  7. He does have both arms but it’s in a sling so perhaps it’s fake ^_^

    Funniest theory ever! Love it!

  8. Hmmm … Kaiza and Danzo, twin brothers perhaps?

    I could see them having completely opposite temperaments, with Danzo being the more serious minded and political one while Kaiza got more out of the simple things in life like having a home and family.

    Their sibling rivalry came to a head when they started going after the same kunoichi, and gave each other the crosses on their chins during a fight over said female ninja (I can just picture something like when Inigo Montoya gives the six-fingered man scars to match the ones he was left with as a child). The object of their dual affections totally pwns both men, leaving Danzo in a sling/taking out his eye and making Kaiza realize he should look for love elsewhere, which is why he leaves the village and goes to the Land of Waves. Danzo, left embittered by the whole ordeal, plots his revenge on all of Konoha …

  9. Oh, no, I propose no theory on this one, I’m just providing the pics. Funniest theory gets a crack fic for a prize; best theory gets a fic in the style of the winner’s choosing (your chance to stump me fo sho).

    I’ll let this sit a day or two and come back with an entry deadline and some sort of voting panel/judging process. Meantime, just leave your (brief-ish) theory in the comments
    to enter.

  10. That was my theory/idea for a fic, though I think it’d be even funnier if Tsunade was the one who pwns Danzo, hence his attitude towards her *Snickers*

  11. warning, extremely weird theory…not suitable for young and pure readers…lol

    Danzo is an elite member of the transgendernin aristocracy, which conceals its fetishistic brothel under the pseudonym of root. Danzo’s elite x-nin (x meaning “cross”) are his most accomplished ninja that all bear his legendary scar on their chin (which he recieved from the first hokage’s growing phallus technique, on the main road to konoha for a bowl of ichiraku ramen). Five years after Danzo’s fall from fame against the third, secluded in the red light district, danzo perfected the growing phallus technique. Danzo’s elite are branded with the mark only after their tansformation is complete. Kaizo was branded roughly twenty years ago, his x-nin partner orochimaru witnessed the event fled the village in fear but not before he perfected his ultimate fellation technique (his elongating tounge). Sai of course isn’t elidgeble for his tatoo because he still retains many of his female traits.
    Danzo’s plot for konoha revolves around the copy ninja. his ambition is much like that of a curious child, seeking whats beneath the mask. after hearing rumors from ichiraku ramen which he frequents late at night with sai and their sexual benefactor of the eve, he has made his resolve firm, and decided that me must at all costs BRAND THE COPY NINJA HATAKE KAKASHI!!!

    now you asked for something outrageous, i wonder if this will be enough to make you LOL, lol 🙂

  12. How about Kaiza is Danzo’s son. Danzo and Kaiza had some sort of huge fallout where Kaiza leaves Konoha never to return. Danzo loves his son very much but is stubborn so he refuses to make the first effort to reconnect. Instead he has root spy on him and report back on regular basis. He knows all the good that his son has performed and is very proud of what he has become but his ego won’t allow a concession to restore contact with Kaiza.

    Finally he decides to go see his son and praise his accomplishments as a grown man. Only he arrives at the village to late and finds Kaisa in his unfortunate state. Danzo is so disgusted with himself that he matches his sons injuries by rendering one arm and one eye useless, destroying himself mercilessly with every intention of killing himself at the end of his sadistic dance. But a medical nin breaks into the sealed room to find Danzo dying in a pool of blood.

    The medical nin heals him enough to bring him concious again but Danzo reaches up, grabs the nin at a vital point of the neck and says “let me die” and the nin says that they are under direct orders from the elders to save his life to ensure that Root continues. Then Danzo tells the nin, “if you must save my life, allow my eye and arm to die” This will serve to remind me of my failure as a father he thinks to himself as he slips in and out of consciousness. I want to look at my reflection everyday and see my sons injuries on myself so that I may relive that horrible memory over and over again, killing my soul each and everyday for the rest of my life. This is what I deserve. This is my hell.

    @ ibi – I know that’s not going to make you LOL but that’s what I thought would fit the characters and have them connect. But that’s like an outline for a fanfic. I don’t do fanfic, I just read it. ^_^

  13. @ibiki me and someone else had a “discussion” trying to decide if you could make one extra strong shadow clone for naruto to go into sage mode… i said you couldnt and thr were different types of clones that were on different levels strengthwise haha thought id clear it up

  14. also maybe thrs some freakish chick that after she makes it with a guy carves an x into his chin… that would be mildly badass

  15. how about if danzou ave that stitch on his right arm?

  16. I’m trying hard not to comment on the entries so as not to sway opinion, but there are some great ideas up there–from the very plausible to the insane. ;P~

    The throw down begins…where is Alec?

  17. sleeping… you guys have fun with this

  18. uuhh..waha…danzo..kaizo…hey!…both of ame …emdzz….wiz…zo…hahahaahahaha

    (sry for that….i’m pretending to be drunk…)

  19. Gather around boys and girls, a magical story of love and power is about to be told.

    In a small village called Konoha lived two brothers named Danzo and Kaizu. Danzo and Kaizu were not just brothers; they were also the best of friends. Danzo would always help his little brother Kaizu out of any jam he may have gotten into. Danzo would always have to protect his younger brother from other ninjas in Konoha since Kaizu was unable to learn ninjutsu and fight for himself. Kaizu did not care that he could not learn ninjutsu since by nature he was a peaceful person.

    Then one fateful day while on a low rank mission the brother’s life’s changed. Kaizu and Danzo fell into a large cavern where a mysterious voice called to them and said “I see you two have good hearts I will split my power in two and give you what your heart’s desire.” From that day on Danzo and Kaizu bore an X mark on their chins signifying that they had the power of The Swayze.

    As the brothers grew older Danzo found that he was really strong and had more power than most on the ninja in Konoha. Kaizu still failed at fighting but he found that he could dance in a more badass way then anyone in Konoha. One day the brothers were at a party, Kaizu was busting a move and caught the eye of a very lovely (and drunk) girl named Tsunade.

    Tsunade in a rush of passion jumped on Kaizu and made out with him as she held him to the ground. Danzo saw this and in a fit of jealousy tried to get Tsunade off his younger brother, but Danzo was knocked down by Tsunades monster strength and his eye hit the tip of a high hell boot that was on the ground. Danzo then went to go hit Tsunade for the injury to his eye, but just as swung his arm exploded and out came the ghost of The Swayze and said “A real man never hits a lady” then suddenly vanished. Kaizu slowly got up and said “I am moving to another land to live a normal life where I can help people and dance without people getting hurt”; he then walked out of the door never to be seen again. Danzo then swore he would get revenge on Tsunade for what she has done.

    No one knows what happened to the ghost of Swayze but some say that a man named captain planet now has his power.

  20. roflmfao, dude that is truly epic last scorpion, one of the best things i have read all year

    @ everyone else- this is why he’s a sannin and most of you guys are not, take notes if you must…

  21. @ Scorpion – that was f@&king classic! ^_^

  22. I see some spelling and tense errors in my story. But the moral of the story is for the ladys. Don’t wear high heels if you are going out to dance, they hurt your feet and somebody can lose an eye. -_+

  23. “sleeping… you guys have fun with this”

    Awwww…Alec. I know you hate me, but why deny everyone else your awesomeness? Maybe we can get Erich in here too for a Sannin-off? C’mon, what do you say?

  24. @last scorpion i wasnt gunna read your post cuz its long and im lazy but seeing some of the responses i might have to haha

  25. haha wow im glad i decided to read that its f****** hilarious

  26. I would like to see what Eric’s and Alec’s mind would vomit out… Erichs would end with “fear the tentacle” and Alec’s would have the end of the world mixed in…

  27. Great find, I have found even more amazing resemblances:

  28. rofl…Lmao…lol…WTF…last scorpoion…you actually made waitin for thispage to roll worthwhile….the only thing missing…a little perversion…(sticks tongue out…cant use smileys!DAMN moderation thingy)

  29. New manga is up!!!!!!!!


  30. Oops kinda posted that on the wrong thread lol

  31. to answer your question ibi- cause i am basking in the awsomeness that is ch 430

    that makes the wait totally worthwhile cause it is so freakin awesome!!!!!

    only one phrase can accurately capture the emotion necessary: MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOO GAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. omg! Alec, I…i’m not even coherent 430 is so awesome…….GAHHHHH.

  33. WTF???Pain revived laser-head????And Naruto kicked his butt—>EPIC!!!!!!!!the next would be EVEN MORE AWESOMENESS!!! 😀

  34. lol, i don’t hate you at all ibi, infact i enjoy it when people hold opposite view points cause then i get to prove why i’m right… if you always hang around people who agree with you, it gets ridiculosly boring… cough-*socialist*- cough, what who said that?

    any way here’s part one of kaizo danzo thing, enjoy, it’s long (it’s me what do you expect…) and it is very very rough…

    Kaizo as we all know and love him is truly Danzo on recluse… A long long time ago, in a village only a click at http://www.onemanga.com away, there was a man named Danzo who inspired to be the third hokage. He however had a rival for the position in his friend named sarutobi. Both were incredibly strong, in fact “monkey” as sarutobi was known back then would eventually become known as the strongest ninja that had ever lived, with knowledge, speed, a jutsu variety, and pure chakra strength unheard of (he could make what would normally be little balls of fire turn into a solid stream of fire 10 m’s across, just from his unrivaled power), but that is neither here nor now. At this time the world was in the second ninja war, and the first hokage had fallen in the village hidden in the swamps, while single handedly defeating the two and eight tailed beast hosts (which the traitorous thunder had used against him even though they were his gift in a sign of trust) along with two different 25 jounin filled divisions. The second hokage, the firsts brother, was worried that he would now have to leave and defend the leaf from the stone while the uchihas were busy defending the coast from the hidden mist and the hyugas helping the sand defeat the rebellious hidden rain. It was between these two who would become the hokage if the second were to follow his brother…
    So in the deserts of the sand sarutobi and danzo fought under the watchful eye of henzen (made up name for the chick in the first panel of http://www.onemanga.com/Naruto/399/06/) the sister of the first… It was a long hard fought battle in which sarutobi, who was around twenty-two at the time fought, the 15-year-old prodigy Danzo. Though sarutobi had by far much more experience and sheer strength in his ability to use fire, earth and water, along with very minimal capabilities to use lighting and wind, danzo more than made up for it with his uncanny intelligence (smarter in fact than shikimaru’s father, who would probably be the most intelligent ninja in the entire village) and his natural ruthlessness which enabled him to exploit every single hole sarutobi left open (though these would be very few and far in between).
    It also helped that people thought danzo’s opaque eyes were just that, but in reality his great grandmother was a hyuga but had a child with no byakugan, and that child had another child with no byakugan, but danzo was born with the recessive trait giving him a half byakugan. Though he was not able to use the taijutsu of the hyugas, and his eyes were not as powerful, he could nonetheless uniquely use his eyes to focus on chakra points and nearly predict the next move of his opponent with his incredible wits, similar to the given abilities of the three tome sharingan. It was an intense battle in which danzo landed few blows against the man who already beaten the second and first hokage in many sparring fights (the first did not use the tailed beasts). But equally, Sarutobi could not land any blows of his own, not because he could not but he refused to go full power against a child, who was seven years younger, knowing that if he well showed full power, this kid, though talented, would not be able to handle the sheer power of Sarutobi’s attacks like the first and second could. However Danzo considered it an insult that somebody this strong would be so “kind” to an obviously weaker enemy, knowing full well if you don’t finish off a weaker opponent, they will destroy you instantly when they get a chance. This was not a good trait in Danzo’s eyes that a Hokage should have, especially in a time of war, when the enemy must be stopped at all costs and destroyed so as they would never threaten the village again.
    And finally it happened, Sarutobi began to gather chakra for his dragon missile technique, this was his chance. Danzo quietly made a weak shadow clone and slipped under ground, as soon as Sarutobi finished, he released another shadow clone from behind Sarutobi. “Monkey” spun around and kicked the shadow clone, but as soon as his foot made contact, Danzo revealed himself along with three other shadow clones, sprung from their hiding spaces under sarutobi. Two clones pressed their kunai knives against the femoral arteries in each leg, one pressed the tip against sarutobi’s heart until a small stream of blood began to run underneath the clothes, and finally danzo held sarutobi in a choke hold with his own kunai against the throbbing jugular of sarutobi’s neck, which began to beat faster and faster the more he pressed the knife’s blade against his victims skin.

  35. i’ll post part two soon enough…

  36. I’m trying hard not to comment…so I will wait patiently for part 2.

    And share some WTF with you (my fortune cookie from tonight’s dinner). I swear to Peins this is what I got: ‘Constant grinding will turn even an iron bar into a needle.’

  37. wth does that mean?

    ibi- do you have a facebook?

  38. you might have to wit a day or two for part 2 cause i’m working on my college letters right now…

  39. @ibi… thats extremely sexual haha probably has to do with working hard at something will make it easier to handle haha whats funny is that kinda backs a situation ive been in

  40. @Alec: no facebook, sorry. Good luck on your letters. Remember they all read a million of them and your awesomeness can actually work to your advantage if you play it right. May Swayze be with you.

    @Renzy…I know, I’m hoping it’s an innocently translated proverb, but those can be pretty secksual too. Well, but also working hard at something changes you into something useful, I guess. I hope. Or just…causes shrinking…mkay…shutting up now.

  41. Just add “in bed” to the end of every fortune cookie.

    Constant grinding will turn even an iron bar into a needle…in bed.

  42. lol, even the driest of wells can be filled with moisture… in bed

  43. A patient man can turn an enemy into a friend…in bed.

  44. Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later…in bed

  45. I have been eyeing this post for quite some time now(about 2 days), as it was one of the first websites to come up for “shippuden 91” on google, oddly enough. (I really pay more attention to real life than dates, so I forgot it would’nt be out till next week, not that I care since I will be…..)

    Anyway, to get to why i am writing this: It is funny that you should(who ever) bring this up(Danzo and ?). Most people notice these things but never actually say anything about them in a formal format. I have a relation(cousin?) with the “author” of naruto and I just wanted to enlighten the few that would have such “close to” accurate evaluations about these relations.

    First, I have read his naruto journal and so, I know more about naruto than most. His scrables and jots are known as his “first journal”. He then rights his “2nd journal” based on that. I have read one of his 2nd journals(i skimmed through one of the regular journals and then read his latest shippuden journal. Keep in mind that i read his journal about 2 years ago, so he has a new one by now). Anyway, his “3rd journal” is…. and his “4th journal” is the one he posts on the mangas and show.

    1. Danzo=Madara=Tobi= that guy above. (there is no rin and obito, i don’t remember reading or “hearing” about them in any of his journals., that must of been a side-show.(they are like “1,000 page” journals, so they could of very well been in 50 pages, scattered hear and there, but they have nothing to do with this subject, or the plot of naruto)

    I liked the way you analyzed(refering to the author of this post) the fact that Danzo and “that guy” up there have the exact same eye either closed(for the guy) or covered(for Danzo), so I will refresh you on what most people say and tell you the “truth”. Danzo is really.. I will tell you that latter, seeing as that leads to a long story. BAck to the obvious(what poelpe wright). Danzo has his sharingon eye covered up all the time in konoha. (you all are like “WTF!!!?”)

    Wait, i’ve got a better idea, i will just start from the beginning. But first, I have to get your brains thinking the right way. The “author” of naruto has kept secrets from you all from the begining. Just like how in real life, you think you have a person figured out and then, wham!, in private, they show their real side or maybe just when the “do”, the characters in konoha have kept things secret from other characters. Eventually, they all come out. Examples? Sure. 1. The first example i will give is one that the “author” of naru used to test you at the begining of naruto(how do I know? Because we talked about it after i read his journals.) Haku is a beautiful girl and zabuza is unkown. Then, you find out(after you have come to like her) that she is actually a fag in womens clothing. 2. After all that shit with sasuke and itachi( this one was one of the real “shockers” that the “author” just released. (i.e. the real shockers are the ones that have been implanted into naruto for a long time and then come out.) From the begining sasuke hated his brother for what he did, and like sasuke, we could only see the situacion through his eyes. Then, 300 episodes later, we find out the truth(or at least most of it, as Madara does what ever the hell he wants). I bet that the “truth” hurt, didn’t it? 3. When Tsunade and Jaraiya talked about Naruto’s parents. I bet that you didn’t think that was going to happen, did you? Hell you probaobly had no idea that anybody knew who they were, as Naruto never knew.

    Now, I will tell you things that you didn’t (and won’t until MUCH later) know. First, Tsunade and Jariaya had sex and had the fourth hokage.(another moment when you are like, WTF!!???, right?) As you can see, even when they are talking outside and it seems like no one is around, they still do not admit it, and even still harbor their love for each other(99% of all the key players in naruto have a ghigher sense of genjutsu than you think). They show hatred publicly and even behind closed doors to make sure no one over-hears them, to make sure that the truth never resides to the wrong person’s ears. Now, let us recap on what you just learned. Jaraiya is the father of the fourth. Tsunade is the mother(hardly a mother) of the fourth. That means that since the fourth was one of tsunade’s sons(yes, she has more than one), he is also related to the 1st and second, which means he is a senju. Consequently, naruto is of bloodline(you connecting the dots in your head yet?). If you notice how that, when everyone else would look at tsunade(if we had other viewpoints of characters to look through) and think, “ohhh I would f*#@ her!”, naruto just calls her “granny”(even though he has no idea that she really IS his “granny”) Jaraiya also slips up sometimes and makes references to naruto being a grandson to him.

    Back to Madara. Hopefully you all have read about him vs, the senju clan. He IS and was the Mizukage of Mist during the time that Itachi asked him to help him as a teenager(he was like 17) and yet, fish-boy(kisame) recalls that he was the Mizukage when he was a chunin.Now, ask your-self, “how could Madara be in the hidden leaf forest, talking to Itachi, yet at his thrown in the Mist village at THE SAME TIME?”(also, “how did Itachi know he was alive and where to contact him?)

    Okay, you ready? Madara is Danzo. Madara is Tobi. As you know, Tobi is the only character that you have seen with the ability to just appear at one place and then magically appear at another using his sharingan in his right-eye(he has a normal -eye in the other).Madara did not show himself to Itachi as “Madara, the renegade who died 30 years ago”, but instead as “Danzo, the leader of ROOT and the man that no one ever knows where he is” As you know, the ROOT are scicos dedicated to Danzo(Danzo did not use his sharingan to hypmotise them either, that is how skilled Madara/Tobi/Danzo is in genjutsu). Well, the Ambu ROOTS made sure that no one saw the interaction between Danzo and Itachi wehn Danzo pulled the eye-patch off his sharingan eye in order to talk to itachi with respect.

    During Sarutobi’s childhood, Madara used genjutsu to make himself look like a little kid named “Danzo” and fucked with Sarutobi all his life. Why would Madara do some shit like that? Becase, he can do whatever he wants. Think about “Tobi”. Was Tobi not a jerk ass that said what ever came to his mind? Yes, he was. Madara(like most of the uchihas with the strongest bloodline) has many “forms” (you might call them personalities). These forms each have their own “life-force”(no not like, Kakuza’s “five-hearts” kind of life-force. More like bijuu kind of life-force, it is imaginary, just like the bijuu. I am not saying that “chakra” is not real, i’m just saying that compared to fived-hearts, it is imaginary life-force.) Danzo is the form that doe’snt talk much or fight, but does alot of action. Tobi is the from that say whatever the fuck he wants to say, and “Madara” is really, just himself. Itachi has these froms as well, but his is internal, meaning no one sees them outside of his own body. Also, Itchi is the least dynamic out of all the three most powerful uchihas discussed so far(meaning he has the least bloodline to the original uchihas).Sai( Yes, he is a uchiha, i will explain this later) has two major external personalities, but I would not call them froms yet, as he is only 17, he has yet to develop his forms. Being the son of Madara(or Danzo which ever you prefer), his bloodline is somewhat strong.

    Back to Madara’s “Danzo” form. When he was fucking with Sarutobi and “fought” him head-on(Madara was playing with him), Madara used genjustu to make it seem like his arm was severed and his eye was fucked up(he didn’t have his sharingan-eye in his head at the time), so that Sarutobi could go on as Hokage, yet still be fucked with by “Danzo”(Madara). I know you are saying” Why would Madara/Danzo use his genjutsu skills to do that(keep in mind that he did this without using sharingan) silly shit and then let him become Hokage just so he could just fuck with him? Well, seeing as Sarutobi is niether Uchiha or Senju, Madara really didn’t want to fuck with this “kid” to the point that he had no choice to become hokage(Madara always likes to give poeple a “choice” and allow them to feel that they have some control over their own situacion. Thsi is a charactersitic of the Uchiha bloodline, what Sai and Itachi have aswell, though we have not really seen Sai in his true from yet.), he just continuosly fucked with him to see if it would alter his judgement as Hokage.

    Back to Madara(again), as you know, Madara does whatever he wants. When he and his brother lost eyesight, Madara and his brother fought, not knowing that Madara just wanted his eyes, His brother was atonished that when he lost the fight(to a guy with bad eyesight), Madra plucked an eye from his brother’s head, Madara’s brother, being as smart as Madara, recognised the reasoning, and knowing he would die in the fight, used his eye that he had left to destroy Madara’s bad eyes, and tried to destroy his own as well. He succeeded in that efort except for the eye that Madra plucked earlier in the srtuggle. Madara, doing what he wants, simply killed a random person(not uchiha, for that would be un-appealing to his goal at that time) and took their eyes. That is why Madara/Danzo/Tobi only has one Sharingon eye(because like the Obito-to-Kakashi transplant, Danzo cannot turn his sharangon “off” all the way. Danzo still wheres a sling around his arm for fun( Hopefully I do not have to exlpain Madara’s attitude again).

    Now, to address the “discover” you all had with Danzo and that guy in the picture up there. Danzo used genjutsu to make himself look younger and magically(using sharingon) appeared at Mist village to have some fun. He did what you all said( no need to re-iterate) and got himself into”that” predicamint up there in the picture. When they tried to cut off his arm, he used his body-part transfer spce/time shit to prevent it from chip-chop, then he used genjutsu(with out using sharingan as i believe that his right eye was closed the whole time) to make it seem ike it was chopped. He found enjoy meant out of that, as the “author” of naruto said.

    Now that you know the truth about Tobi/Danzo/Madara, I can tell you one more thing to piss in your pants over. Sai

    Sai is the other son that Tsunade had(man she is experienced). Danzo(Madara did not reveal himself to her either, except for the “fucking” part) As you can recall from the show, the author of naruto made sure that the opening seen had a trnity of Tsunade-Danzo-Sai. Also, whenafter after one of the shows, Tsunade coments on how handsome Danzo looked as a boy(I guess she didn’t really like the way he looked except for his sharingan when he fucked her and told her who he was during the fuck. This part might be numbed down when it finally gets revealed in manga. Notice how the manga is gradually getting more “Mature” as the episodes roll on. 1. A beloved character dies(several)2. … well you get the point, i’m getting tired of explaining)

    So, Sai. Sai has the potential ( the journal I read stopped talking about Sai as far as I have talked about him so far, and I didn’t ask the ‘athor” about him after I read this, because you all will be lucky to see the manga get THIS far, and I really didn’t care). Now, That you know that Sai is from the two bloodlines that have hated each other(not really hated, just Madara). That means that he has greater controll over the bijuus than anyone. Sorry Sasuke. His sharingan has to be out of this world. I bet the first time someone sees his sharingan , they will drop dead instantly. 1. from schck. 2. fromit’s power. Think about it. Sai has never used sharingan in public, and he still does some pretty good genjutsu.(pretty unique stuff too). He is able to not jus copy moves that he sees without using sharingan, like when sasuke copied lee’s taijutsu technique without using his sharingan. When naruto made a rasengan and “handed” it to Sai, he was able to copy it in less than a second and use the same rasengan to attack. If anyone else had been “handed” a rasengan, they would have had a hand missing after that. Now, I wonder if Sai is really 17 or older than that, seeing as Madara is pretty old to be spewing seimen everywhere. Either way you look at it, Sai is incredibly talented to not use sharingan and use genjutsu like he does at just 17 yrs. old or that he has mastered his fathers’ age genjutsu already(maybe him being fourth hokage’s age). I was thnking………maybe there is an underground under that padoga where sai can go a thousand mile s away from konha and still be underground and train taijutsu and ninjutsu. Maybe he is a great taijutsu user(we already know he is good at it), seeing as taijutsu at the most can create a Rocklees size explosion, so no one would hear. His ninjutsu skills cannot be better than sasuke’s though, seeing as sasuke’s simple”full-body chidori” exploded a crater the size of 5 padogas. Sai practicing a ninjutsu that good or better would certanly cause a great explosion to alert someone of it). You are saying” why not just let Madara transport him to someplace else?” Bexase that would mean that Sai sees daylight more often. He clearly does not(pale ass like a geisha).

    P.S. I “author” because If he found out that my name and his name were in the same page on internet, he would sue me for this. (he googles his name every few days to make sure no information is leakd). I ask you not to use his name in this page, or he will find it. Since my name isn’t on here, he cannot legally”sue” me, but, he would be thouroughly pissed at me and I don’t want that(as I stated before, we have relation to one antother. No, i’m not gay. Enjoy this, as it never vomes to poeple like you all. And i will not be coming back to this site to answer any questions you might have about it. I dod not really care about this site, i just thought i ‘d amuse you since, you all came up by accident. DO NOT POST THIS ANYWHERE ON GOOGLE Thanks, and you are welcome

    “Danzo has his ROOT in that Padoga that no one enters, remember?” Quote by someone i read erlier today

  46. Ya know…I’m not even sure if I’m gonna have to gather judges, because it’s going to be pretty damn hard to top that. LMAO–in bed.

  47. we dont need to discuss why thats fake do we? haha cuz it clearly is

  48. @Anymous. ROFL. Are you trying to do an essay over this. man thats huge ass comment. i hope you didnt wasted days or even week to come up with that.

    anyway, i didnt bother reading the whole thing. can anyone tell me what he just said… a quick summary of the comment if anyone have read it? lul

  49. I read it all, I gues Madara does whatever he wants.

  50. Unlike Most people would think, long ago Danzo was not the wretched old man you see before you. Donzo once loved the hidden leaf as if it was his own however one fateful day changed all that. During the great Ninja War’s Danzo was a fine shinobi one of the best the land had to offer. One day Danzo was assigned a mission to assist a small village containing the ninja we see in the manga kaiza. Kaiza and his villages had been on the run for days however the sand ninja finally caught up to him and a fight broke out. After little effort the sand shinobi had whipped out every last one of Kaiza’s village, he was the last one standing. This is when the leaf shinobi lead by danzo rocked up only to be cruely defeated with danzo and kaiza being struck down and taken prisoner. The mark you see before you on their chin is the mark of the Prisoner camp inflicted by a hot metal cross. This was done so if they did manage to escape they would be instantly recognized. While at there prisoner camp they became close friends and danzou made a strong bond with kaiza as if he was his brother.


    Anywho back to the story the ninja war finally ended and kaiza and danzo parted there different ways. However Kaiza was soon after killed on a secret order from the hokage. When donzo found out what had happened he flipped and sworn vengence on the village, he soon after took on the 3rd hokage as we know and got a huge beat down. Soon after that he recollected his throughts and decided he would destroy kohana from the inside. This is why danzo is today and that is where the scar on his chin comes from!!!

    The end

  51. What |the |Fuck!!!
    Madara |fucking |Sarutobi(O.O)
    Danzo |fucking |tsunade(O.O)
    Jiraiya|fucking |tsunade(^^)

    Naruto never HANDED sai his rasengan….he went transvestite and cloned himself!

  52. Long long ago in a place far far away a story took place, this is NOT that story, a few decades ago, in a place right here, a story took place, this AINT that story either…

    A few years ago, in a village called konoha, lived a man by the name of kaidozo swayze. he was a normal man, a normal ninja with a normal family, normal ability and so on…but in the depths of his conciousnce he held a secret so sinister, so deadly that if it got out, his life as a “normal” person would end.

    Now you would question what was this supposedly “Abnormal” trait with this “normal” guy.

    I will tell you, but be aware, what you might now…might make you puke…

    One day Kaidozo went to the restrooms at the hokage palace(he had a c-grade mission to attend to…he remembered after looking at the door abt the new Unisex bathrooms that had been installed by the new hokage(follow link to see why he remembered – http://farm1.static.flickr.com/18/24186312_bee6c28005.jpg). he went in and was surprised to see it was already occupied. It was a blonde, busty babe you probably see on “Kunoichibaywatch” completely in the buff. Now a normal nin would’ve said sry and retreated but as i said, Kaidozo wasnt normal, he went straight ahead, did his business and left. this left the young kunoichi wondering, WTF was wrong with this guy, ppl had offered to pay her(tsunade was her name) to see her assets and this guy’s dick didnt move a millimeter(yeah! she saw him piss). So she followed the unaware kaidozo(fully clothed this time…). What she saw that day(& night) left her mentally scarred forever.

    Kaidozo walked normally through the streets…he thought off the days happening, it was kind of embarassing for him to walk in that kunoichi but he felt he couldn’t hve apologised at that time(he would’ve said something stupid). as he walked along he made sure to not let the kunoichi following him know that he had detected her a while ago….he stopped for his usual at Ichiraku’s, and started to head home….it was then that his mind came up with a sinister plan so indercribable, “both” of “them” snarled as they relished it……

    that was part one….part two coming up!

  53. @Anymous – acording to it’s larger than life freakin comment,Sai is the best ninja ever,Madara is God and Uchicha can even screw peolple without noticing.Damn,if that happens,screw the manga,come on,the script has to make sense,this isn’t Dragonball.That’s impossible,sooo fake and to think that I read it all,my head is still sorrowed from that rubbish.Come on,did he really think that any of us would like freakin care?Wtf.

    For anyone that doesn’t want to read that,but is curious:

    1.He says since Madara exists,he creats such strong genjutsu that the whole Konoha and that stuff is affected if he wants;
    2.He says Sai is Tsunade’s son (wtf,are you mad?) and because of it,he has Uchicha blood and Senju’s,he’s like unlimited power thing;
    3.Sai is Madara’s son;
    4.Danzo,Tobi and Madara are the same people,and because of Madara’s Genjutsu,he makes people believe he has different ages;
    5.Danzo and Tobi are only manifestations of Madara’s personality,due to some Uchicha complexe;
    6.That Sai has the most powerful Sharingan ever,that kills just by look;
    7.That Sai is about the same age as the fourth;
    8.That Danzo only fought and lost against the third because he wanted;
    9.That the fourth is j – man and tsunade’s son (this we all believe,but he could strip it from Jeremiah and Ibiki’s theories);
    10.Nothing more,just crap.

  54. Long long ago in a place far far away a story took place, this is NOT that story, a few decades ago, in a place right here, a story took place, this AINT that story either…

    A few years ago, in a village called konoha, lived a man by the name of kaidozo swayze. he was a normal man, a normal ninja with a normal family, normal ability and so on…but in the depths of his conciousnce he held a secret so sinister, so deadly that if it got out, his life as a “normal” person would end.

    Now you would question what was this supposedly “Abnormal” trait with this “normal” guy.

    I will tell you, but be aware, what you might now…might make you puke…

    One day Kaidozo went to the restrooms at the hokage palace(he had a c-grade mission to attend to…he remembered after looking at the door abt the new Unisex bathrooms that had been installed by the new hokage(follow link to see why he remembered -farm1 .static .flickr .com/18/24186312_bee6c28005.jpg[remove spaces]). he went in and was surprised to see it was already occupied. It was a blonde, busty babe you probably see on “Kunoichibaywatch” completely in the buff. Now a normal nin would’ve said sry and retreated but as i said, Kaidozo wasnt normal, he went straight ahead, did his business and left. this left the young kunoichi wondering, WTF was wrong with this guy, ppl had offered to pay her(tsunade was her name) to see her assets and this guy’s dick didnt move a millimeter(yeah! she saw him piss). So she followed the unaware kaidozo(fully clothed this time…). What she saw that day(& night) left her mentally scarred forever.

    Kaidozo walked normally through the streets…he thought off the days happening, it was kind of embarassing for him to walk in that kunoichi but he felt he couldn’t hve apologised at that time(he would’ve said something stupid). as he walked along he made sure to not let the kunoichi following him know that he had detected her a while ago….he stopped for his usual at Ichiraku’s, and started to head home….it was then that his mind came up with a sinister plan so indercribable, “both” of “them” snarled as they relished it……

    that was part one….part two coming up!

  55. Oh,about the post,it’s really cool,but i don’t see any connection,unless he’s his brother or son and got strayed away because Danzo didn’t thought he was strong enough to be his son and abandoned him.Since then,he just travelled around the world.´

    This explains why he didn’t fought against Gato’s ( the gangster chief ),died fast and confirms why we all hate the damn Danzo worm.

    Just another thing about the anonymous comment:it’s all possible to happen only because you invented that genjutsu crap!Besides,I ask EVERYONE ELSE TO FIND REASONS THAT CORROBORRATE HOW FAKE THIS WTF COMMENT IS.THAT WAY,HE CAN’T FOOL ANYONE ELSE.

  56. Part 2

    Though invisible to the normal eye, kaidozo swayze bared his teeth at the prospects of what would come the night before him. On his way home he suddenly took a turn and surely, tsunade followed…what was it that intrigued her som much about this man, was it his silent attitude, his normal life, or his erectile dysfunction, she couldn’t put her hand on it but it hovered on the latter two.

    Kaidozo passed by a run down house and thought…”perrrrfect!”
    he turned into the house and went into a corner and waited for the kunoichi to catch up….they didn’t want her to miss anything…anything….

    Tsunade watched the man turn into a rundown house…”Now why would he go there?”…she pondered on wether to follow him or not, in the end she decided that she would. When she entered the house….she instantly knew…Genjutsu! She tried to dispell it with the trick she had recently learnt. “What? it didnt work…impossible, i hve the best chakra controll in the village!”

    “Dont even try! you can’t dispell it” came an eerie voice out of the corner. the voice was strange…as if two pitches mixed together, sorta like a T-pain or lil-wayne track…..creepy!
    She watched as he came closer and the moonlight lit his face……silence…..she turned cold….one of his eyes had gone red….blood red…..the deepest red that she could’ve imagined….no, it wasn’t the sharingan, the sharingan paled in front of this, and the other eye was doing something two, it was shrinking….shrinking….until nothing was left(she thought she would’ve even laughed if it weren’t for the situation)

    “the transformation has just begun….you havent seen what real FUN is…”

    Kaidozo felt happy, felt awesomeness, he loved it when he did IT…it was like he lived to do just IT.
    Then it started, the actual mutation, the thing that would never leave tsunade the same again.

    Kaidozo’s hair started splitting apart, farther….farther….up until it looked like a fine white line between his hair showing his scalp, but it didn’t end there, his skull started to split apart, tsunade wanted to scream but the genjutsu didn’t allow her to, she felt oddly exhilarated as well
    by now Kaidozo had split into two, both these bodies had one eye and a wierd cross on their chins

    “i am DANZO”
    “i am KAIZO”
    “we are KAIDOZO”

    Tsunade was speechless, both the men(?) were astonishingly good looking and their bodies were as if sculpted out of marbel(the clother had torn off during the split), the size of their phalluses was larger than she had ever seen(And even though she was 17, she had seen a LOT, the biggest by far being her teammate jiraiya’s and the slimiest being orochimaru’s)

    What would happen to her as she watched on….

  57. part 3 comin up…

  58. Part 3(the non real one)

    “do not be afraid….what is your name?” asked Danzo
    “Tsunade” she muttered trembling
    “well tsunade…SMILE! YOUR ON CANDID CAMERA!!!”

  59. Part 3(the real one)

    “do not be afraid….what is your name?” asked Danzo

    “Tsunade” she muttered trembling

    “well tsunade…we will tell you something, we can read your thoughts, see your body and just about everything else, you see, we were born with a gift that runs in certain members of your family…kekkei genkai is a beautiful thing”

    tsunade listened to him quietly, she had realised that the genjutsu had been removed but unnervingly she wanted to listen to that smooth voice of his some more, she couldn’t resist it….as if someone was toying with the yes or no button in her brain, but she listened nevertheless….

    “i’m sure you saw me and my brother separating…..remember the eye…, the byakugan, the sharingan, the rinnegan, thay all suck before this power…the power of the most powerful eye jutsus… Behold! the SWAYZEINGAN!!!!!!

    with these eyes, we can do ANYTHING! and by anything i mean ANYTHING!”

    tsunade crouched on all fours….the tension was unbearable, she was sweating like crazy, those eyes made her feel completely transparent, like they could see her very soul….was this the Legendary power unheard of….the LEGENDARY power of the SWAYZE?, she couldn’t let this go by, as grand daughter of the first, it was her duty to tell the world about this!

    “before you come to any conclusions….you must know the cmplete story….our great ancestor…the GOD Patrick Swayze lived during the tome of rikodou….rikodou was his personal test subject…thus the rinnegan was a castoff and a failure.

    you see, swayze never dies…he is simmply reincarnated in every generation. but in our generation, due to a little mistake by some guy called chuck norris(the swayze never makes mistakes), the spirit of swayze was roundhoused into both of us…we were twins….this caused an umm….condition…..that might explain your wrong theory of erectile dysfunction.

    it dawned on tsunade what they were talking about…..she wasn’t in danger of being raped ofter all…. they were both GAY! meanin HOMO to the bone!baby! no friggin rapin tonight!

    “u might want to tone down your language young lady
    well….since we’re gay, we cant hve children, our thingy’s wont shoot up, thuogh they do when we see each other”

    tsunades puked!

    “so we need someone to bear the next generation of swayze, so we need someone really hot so that we can do IT or we’ll just hve to go threesome…..oh shit…we’ll just go threesome, you dont have a choice, the swayzw dont give no choice”

    that night tsunade was appalled at their inexperience and their continuous questionning on why she was pukin made her puke more….afyter abt 10 hours she had ahd enough, calling up the last bit of energy she got up…..swung her boobs with all her might into one of their arms crushing it, she ran for her life(and dignity though that aint imp now:p).

    *******1 week later*******
    tsunade sits in her room with a paper strip in her hand…..”it turned blue…im pregnant”

    the last words of the swayze brothers echoed in her mind….”since our condition is such….the child may have some traits of both genders…we mean he may even turn out homo…but you must not let anyone know and as soon as he is ready, you will send him/her to me(Danzo speaking)”
    *******9 months later*******

    “It’s a BOY!”

    tsunade looked at the sickly white skin, the leather shirt thingy, and that UGLY exposed midriff!!!And Why the FUCK was he born wearing clothes!!!!!!
    unable to look further she posts him to danzo’s place(FED EX)

    Danzo: “You are the future of the world, the beholder of the swayzeingan, you will be called Sai. my brother kaizo has left me to go away and live a good life and try to become straight…..but i hve no such vocation….i just started an organisation called ANBU root which means “Really Odd Orgy Team”, you will grow up to become a helluva swayze and teach that prick norris a lesson, that is your destiny”

    And that is the story of two warmongering, disturbed, wierd and homosexual brothers who were fusred together and lived apart/….

  60. Still need some judge volunteers…you will vote via e-mail and no one but me will see your vote.

    Great new entries…hoping for a few more.

  61. but danzo is way older than kaiza, remember that danzou is an old known man in konoha, and kaiza was young not so long ago (3 years)… and he is dead……. but that x in his shin…. damn funny theory.

  62. but danzo is way older than kaiza, remember that danzou is an old known man in konoha, and kaiza was young not so long ago (3 years)… and he is dead……. but that x in his shin…. damn funny theory.

  63. Come on…I need someone who hasn’t entered to be a judge…two people in fact…step up, be bold. You will have to read the entries, but you’ve probably already done that…

  64. i could judge if you wanted, though to all those who want to put on new theories, if i do judge, you had better step it up cause all the ones so far have been mediocre, and shared much of the same content. lets see some originality

  65. OK, monkeyphant, you are on.

  66. cool, now who else will judge?

  67. i’ll judge

  68. you know, never mind, school’s started and righting the second piece will be boring and i don’t think there’s time…

    but what i was going to talk about is that the sister of the first and second was the judge, she decided Saru because he was only fighting like 75%, Danzo gets pissed runs from konoha like a little baby, says he’ll never use his abilitites again, becomes kaiza. even against evil short man, he refuses to use his powers, gets his arms cut off and one eye beat out of him for it. hey leave him for dead, dump his body in the ocean, found by konoha ninjas and returned to the village and healed (don’t ask me about the arms and how they got back) but one arm is permantely disabled an he can’t see out of one eye…

  69. Is there any more room for a judge?

  70. would love to have you outlaw (kyouto), you’re in.

  71. Alright. Is my email visible? Please tell if you send anything.

  72. Kaizu & Danzo cannot be brothers, in manga 20 it said that Kaizu arrived about 3 years before it battle at the bridge. So, what I propose is this.

    About 60 years ago two brothers sat at the dinner table with their mother & father. One son, Kaisai, idealized his father who was a simple farmer, but the other, Danzo, resented what he considered his fathers lack of ambition. Danzo felt such disappointment with his father that he sought power by any means necessary, and only saw his father and brother as potential for the village wasted. Kaisai was kind and hard working. He looked up to his father who would always tell the young brothers, “Each day in the fields, with these two hands, we strengthen, nurture, and protect the future of this village.” Kaisai understood his father, and in hearing this worked harder each day to increase the output and quality of the crops. This point of view sickened Danzo, who abandoned the farm to attend the Ninja academy. He often criticized his brother for following his father in the field, but Kaisai would only smile and reply with his father’s adage, “Father protects, and strengthens ninjas like you every day with those two hands. Without us there is no you, no academy, and without those like you there is no safety for us. Brother, haven’t you realized that the village is family, and we all need each other.”
    “There are those of us whom are needed less than others. In lean times one sheds one’s fat; the weakest, useless part of one’s body”, Danzo would reply coldly.

    Thirty years later Kaisai has a family and a newborn son of his own; his brother Danzo has become a great ninja, but rarely visits his family home. Kaisai’s son, Kaiza, like his father before him, he lives by his grandfather’s beliefs. Kaisai and Danzo’s father became very ill fourteen years after the birth of Kaiza. Danzo made a trip out to his family’s farm. Although Danzo and his family’s values differed, Danzo still loved his family very much. The father held the brother’s hands, and pled with them not to be so distant. Tears of sadness stained their cheeks. Meanwhile, there is a Demon, a terrible natural disaster, baring its fangs at the village. As the beast strikes at Kohona’s heart. Waves of destruction reached out to every corner of Kohona. In the blink of an eye the farm was in ruin. Crawling out from under the wreckage was Danzo. The first sights to greet his eyes are the twisted, mangled bodies of his elderly parents. In the corner opposite him, Danzo saw his brother and sister-in-law dead in a strange mound. Realizing almost at once, Danzo leaped across the room, and there, panicked screams muffled to near silence by the bodies covering him in a finial act of protection, was Kaiza. He was the only other survivor of the farmhouse. Danzo hurls himself toward the heart of Kohona, but finds only death, destruction, the loss of a Hokage, and a cursed infant. Danzo wants to drop to his knees, weary from the emotional toll, but in seeing the hard decision that the 4th hokage has made, he steels himself. It is at this point that Danzo tells himself that emotionless resolve is the only way to achieve the power to protect the village.

    In the following weeks, Danzo leads a branch of the surviving villagers in a call for the death of the infant Naruto, thus sealing away the beast forever. In this effort he is challenged by the former 3rd hokage, and losses. Meanwhile, Kaiza, seeing his uncle’s true colors leaves the village forever. Swearing that he will someday find a place to live by his father’s, and grandfather’s way, even if he has to build, and protect it with his own two hands.

  73. sorry for no comments on others theories (and there are good ones here), but I have to type this up in word, put it on a jump drive, and then sneak it onto the site. Well, gotta get up at 4:00am. Goodnight.

  74. I was just thinking what if during the third ninja war (the one kakashi was in) Danzo out on a mission was caught by an enemy ninja, because he tried to save a young boy named kaiza. they were marked with a x on their chins from torture, or a enemy ninja with a sick mind. Danzo and the boy could have been saved or danzo could have freed himself. It could be that simple, this is not much of a fic, just an idea.

  75. i have a question: who are the nine people who fought the fox in the very first chapters?

  76. It was a pilot chapter band has nothing to do with the naruto manga.

  77. band *and

  78. I’m about to address the above diatribe by the Anonomous poser who is delusional and creepy and is the same guy that pretends to be a 17 year old hot chick online so that guys will have virtual chat sex with him, *gagging* by responding with my own diatribe.

    If it was a joke. And I pray it was… then it was the greatest troll comment ever and you should be exalted for your awesomeness dark humor and come forward for everyone to laud praise on you. If this comment is serious then continue reading….

    @ Anonomous – This is the best part and only part I read other than the first couple sentances: “Enjoy this, as it never vomes to poeple like you all. And i will not be coming back to this site to answer any questions you might have about it. I dod not really care about this site, i just thought i ‘d amuse you since, you all came up by accident”

    LMFAO! I hope this is a joke cause stuff like this comes to us all the time to “people like us”. Some of the “people like us” already work in the industry and know for a fact that most (including Kishi) manga artists write and draw the manga on a weekly basis based on loose ideas and broad concepts that they’ve been working on while writing the manga.

    I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a thousand times. Kishi himself only has a vague idea of where the story is headed. At best he has a good idea of how it ends, which I doubt because he will continue to write it as long as he is making insane amounts of money off it or gets so sick of writing it that he calls it quits to start a new one. He has given many interviews and even said he has changed his mind several times on the direction and focus of the manga based on the popularity of characters with the fandom.

    So the next time one of you A holes gets delusional and has an itch to come here and spout their thoughts and theories you should:

    A) Take a deep breath, orginize your thoughts, cut out the bull shit grand standing and just tell us what you think.

    B) End yourself. And don’t do it in a punk way like taking others with you. Just end yourself alone and in the dark, preferrably quietly so that you don’t annoy the neighbors in the shit hole apartment next to you.

    P.S. For someone who said you “don’t care about this site” you invested A LOT of time and energy in writting that super long ass post. So long that most of us, including myself arn’t wasting out time reading it. I’m guessing your a closet fanatic and I said something about Sai being gay that pissed you off a long time ago and these thoughts have been brewing in that F**ked up skull of your forever… pretty close guess, right?


  79. @anonymous from way back hella long post- you truly are almost an idiot… you say you have the journal and yet sai didn’t copy the rasengan, that was a clone Naruto made and shapeshifted into sai, while the real sai hid in the woods. Plus as i have explained, there are no genetic trait linking the fourth and naruto to jiraya and tsunade, and not to freakin’mention sai doesn’t use genjutsu, he freakin draws a shape on paper, than his chakra takes that shape in ink… not to mention the reason you’d have access to the “journal” is cause “author” is done with it and it holds no relevant info… you got your hands on a rough draft of ideas that “author” might have been thinking about but ended up scrapping it in the end… plus if madara is so powerful and can infiltrate everything, why does he wait around to destroy the leaf when he is also apparently the mizukage… way to try and get attention for yourself

  80. @real- not all us believe that tsunade and jiraya bumped uglies and had a son (though no jman he’s probably hit that once or twice…) jman and tsunade having a son becoming the fourth is ridiculosly stupid, cuase jiraya admits that he never had any children

  81. @Alec: I don’t even believe that–in fact I proved it’s impossible for Jiraiya and Tsunade to have had a child because they NEVER, EVER did it (unless Jiraiya has no recollection of it, and that gets even too far fetched for me). Look at the bottom of this post for the evidence.

  82. Gentle readers (and Alec ^.^), by now you may have noticed we have a disqualification in the entries here. Since we don’t usually see Jeremiah get so impassioned, and since I had a part in the agitation…I’m gonna ‘splain.

    The creepy ‘anymous’ entry above originally struck me as either a brilliantly manufactured contest entry/carnival of lies or…something a little more…well, odd.

    I gave the author the benefit of the doubt, consulted with Jeremiah and did a little detective work (no not on the content of the post, that’s clearly all fiction–I mean on stuff like phony e-mail addresses and IPs, yes there was more than one).

    The end result is: we think it’s creepy, not brilliant. Please do move along.

    Whoever this person is, they will only be fed by any continued attention and strike again later just to watch everyone get all excited. This is the definition of a troll. Trolls eat attention and response comments; they thrive on negative energy and publicity. Let’s drive this one back under the bridge from whence it came…by starving it.

    Don’t know how? It’s easy, just ignore the whole thing–don’t post about it, don’t comment on it…just walk away. I see you about to hit reply…quit it…walk away. (This means you Harshy, Pain…walk away… ^.^)

  83. @ibi what if jiraiya and tsunade were both completely hammered and dont remember it and tsunade left before jiraiya woke up? its possible haha

  84. Kaizo is only the person that resulted after Danzo used a forbidden technique to separate his weak side from his strong side. Resulting in yin(kaizo) and yang(danzo). Kaizo was obviously Danzo’s weak side. However, they still are linked together in the way that they experience the same physical pain.
    The End

  85. sorry ibi, i didn’t even read Jeremiah’s thing till now and that wsa teh first time i bothered reading dudeski’s up there… lol i meant “knowing Jman, he probably has hit that once or or twice…”

  86. ok……i almost hit the reply button there, but then i saw your post out of sheer coincidence, the coincidence was soooo severe that it ripped up a hole in the time space continuum and i teleported to kishi’s basement in 1992 out of sheer amazement, then i used sai’s help and his genjutsu to help me tape jiraiya and tsunade in action and post it all over the web…..

  87. *walk away….

  88. hey this is actually monkeyphant here, uhh bad news. i woke up two days ago to the smell of burning resistor that i know all too well from shop class, and my monitor was fuzzing in and out like there was a magnet near it. so long story short, i am without a computer, i am currently at a friends typing this out, sorry ibi, but there is almost no way that i will be able to judge. if my situation changes ill let everyone know, but chances are slim. again, sorry.

  89. but WHO WINS>>>????IBI WHERE ARE YOUUUUU????

  90. Thanks monkeyphant. I’ve actually just sent an e-mail to youngking, kyouto and monkeyphant (on the off chance things are better now). So check your registered e-mails for the instructions. And let me know as soon as possible if I need to replace you. 😦

    I’ve also selected the non-awesomeness reader judges and I expect them to be contacting me soon with their picks. My plan is to announce winners early next week. Hang in there. Sorry about the interruption in this little game.

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