Kunoichi Top Ten
Hello, my name is IbikiTeishi(aka Mollie) and I are a Narutard. There’s really no hope for me, you should run away screaming now. I write fanfiction to hone my writing skills and in the process have become a hopeless case. Jeremiah asked me to share some words with you every once and a while, so here I am.
Jeremiah and I have both complained that Kishimoto-san seems absolutely unable to write a decent female character. Maybe it’s mommy issues, maybe the thought of a competent woman makes his wee-wee shrink. I’m not so sure, but I came up with a list of kickass ways he could remedy the problem at some point in the next manga arc–as Pain invades Konoha. (Hey, if we even get one of these I’m gonna squeal like a fangirl. Sadly, I don’t think this is the way Kishi rolls.)
1. Sakura takes down an aspect of Pain single-handedly AND gets credit for it. (That last part isn’t gonna happen, although I’m betting on the first.)
2. Tsunade gets in a wrassling match with Utatane Koharu (the pinch-faced female elder) and disembowels her with a perfectly manicured nail. Mrowr. Hiss.
3. Hinata rescues Neji from certain death, and then puts HIM in the hospital when he can’t manage to thank her.
4. Ten Ten versus Konan—metal weapons and paper shredding fu. Need I say more? Scissors always beats paper.
5. Kurenai does not hide from the battle, despite being gravid (uh, that means pregnant you pervs) and awkward. She’s fighting for two now—so it would be cool to see her get scary, mother bear fierce.
6. Ino seduces Human Realm with her kunoichi wiles, castrates him when he’s at his weakest and takes his robe—to cover up her midriff, I mean, really.
7. Yoshino (Shikamaru’s mom), gives Danzo a piece of her mind–until he puts out his other eye and repents for smashing the frog. She grounds him, makes him send another frog and pay for his damages—just like any hardass mom.
8. Ayame dumps the soup base for Ichiraku’s new menu (tsukemen where the noodles are dipped in the soup—usually served cold) in the street and slows down Pain’s attack as two or three aspects slip and slide through the streets. I’m hoping it takes out Demon Realm, because—srsly, laser beams in da hed?
9. Shizune rescues Kakashi by knocking out the chakra transmitters in the aspects, leaving God realm quite ungodly and alone.
10. Sai—oh, wait, Sai is gay a guy, right? Oops. Sorry, I had some midriff confusion. I’m having a hard time coming up with ten women. Awright—so Shiho wakes up from her fangirl worship of Shikamaru and is able to think enough to solve Jiraiya’s code. (That was lame. I should have stayed with Sai.)
But, what do you think? Do you prefer the kunoichi to be weak ass bitches? Or should they be pulling their own weight? What would Swayze say?