Laws of the Swayze
(Update note: This was originally posted a while back under a different site by me. Many of the vets of the site already know this post but I wanted to bring it back for the noobs. If you comment, make sure you sound super pissed off and drunk in the comment… that’s the point. Gratuitous curse words and improper English are both welcome in this comments section. And if you can think of any new rules please feel free to put them in the comment section. Some people had some good ones in the past so if you want to repost those comments then feel free to do so.)
The following was written by a drunken Vietnam vet just before he died from what he called “an over dose of Awesomeness”.
If you feel as though your life is lacking in the Awesomeness department then live your life by the laws of the Swayze! These are not rules. The Swayze follows no rules. Rules are for pussies. These are laws mother fucker!
Law number 1: Nobody puts baby in the fuckin corner…No… fuckin… body! (Dirty Dancing)
Law number 2: If someone tries to mess with your shit… not figuratively but literally rip their fucking throat out! (Road House)
Law number 3: The Communists can strike at any moment…even in Montana. So always be ready to kill some Commy bastards. Wolverines! (Red Dawn)
Law number 4: Nothing kills the Swayze! Not even Cancer! When Swayze dies, its cause Swayze wants to! (His Life)
Law number 5: Nobody touches your lady except you! If you die, then you need to get off your lazy ass and come back as a ghost! Then kill the mother fucker trying to bang your wife. Next, even if you have to jump into an ugly black chicks body, you need to make sweet sweet love to your woman one last time to ensure she doesn’t date anyone ever again and dies alone!(Ghost)